Saying yes. Being open and honest without judgement. Acknowledging loneliness and emptiness as human and accepting that sometimes it gets lonely and it's okay that we need others. Being woken up at five in the morning to catch up and being completely content with it. Learning to focus on personal goals and aspirations. Learning to accept that we all have different ambitions and none are superior. Breaking down walls and sharing the less glamorous burdens. Always knowing what is meant. Knowing without having to speak aloud. Trusting others with the less-than-perfect parts of me. The squeak of the gate. Knowing each other. Curling up. Family nights. Missing the same (yet very different) things. Being reminded. Always anticipating snail mail. Having/ being regulars.

There's a huge list forming in my mind as my stay in Hong Kong is drawing closer and closer to an end of all the things that I have learned/ experienced/ will miss. Still can't believe how quickly these last seven months have passed, and how quickly these next two will. Packing in as much as I can into the next two months. It seems my dislike for goodbyes is being tested once again. I'm so conflicted in that I'm so sad to leave this place, but so excited to go home.

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When I first decided to leave home (temporarily), it was because I was craving change. I had grown comfortable, too comfortable for my liking. I needed something uncertain in my life. My initial months here in Hong Kong were exactly that - I was getting lost, exploring new places on my own and spending time with family I had not had the chance to get to know well before this. Sure, I missed home terribly, but it was exactly what I had wanted. Knowing that at the end of all of this, I'll be on a plane home to everything I left behind has always been a comforting thought for me when the homesickness kicked in. This is, until recently.

My days have become routine. I work on weekdays, and quite often spend time with my friends (who happen to be my coworkers) after work. Saturday mornings I call home, tutor, work out and then have dinner with my extended family. Sundays are study days & all about getting down to work. The other night I was heading home from my uncle's, as I do each and every Saturday. I had my music on and just sort of daydreamed as I stared out the window of the bus. I was actually surprised to find how well I knew the route home, and how I could recognize all the places I was passing (and all the places I enjoyed). It kind of hit me then how settled in I had somehow gotten here.

When I first arrived, I had sworn that I would never settle into a life here. I said over and over again how I wouldn't be able to last here long-term. This is still true as I couldn't ever see myself here permanently in the future, but I'm beginning to think that I could make a longer stay. It was so bittersweet leaving home and now I'm anxious about how bittersweet it will be to go home. I didn't ever think I'd create such strong bonds to this city. Although I'm still incredibly excited to go home and catch up on all the things I missed and do all the things I love, it's actually going to be hard to say goodbye. I've found myself enjoying going out and hanging out as much as staying home and curling up here. I think I've finally found balance and comfort (although I'm not sure if that was the plan).

Yesterday I came home from work to an incredibly chill evening. I got into my PJ's and finished my work. Take-out was brought home and we ate in. We perused through tattoos and contemplated them. We put on old music and talked about our wants, our needs, our futures, happiness, sacrifice and independence. The future was something I was so certain about before; I had a list of goals I wanted to accomplish in the next 10 years and had committed to them with everything I had. Then I realized, just like how I decided to pick up and leave home, things can change very quickly. That doesn't mean that my dreams aren't still mine to have, it just means that they might not fall into place exactly as I envisioned them to. I found myself equally as frustrated as I was simply scared of all that I'd been presented but oh, how I have missed challenging conversations. Lots to think about still.

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Friday will mark my official one-month alone in Hong Kong! Although, honestly, I feel far from alone. I talk to my family basically every single day, and my family here has been taking incredibly good care of me. Life here is incredibly fast-paced and I feel a constant need to be occupied. It's very different, and I'm still working on adjusting. Yesterday I needed to breathe, and just went to the main library and looked at books to get away from everything. This last week and a half has been packed full of interviews and job trials, and I finally settled on what I want to do here. It was so hard walking away from some of the work that was being offered because I felt like I wanted to be everywhere.

I got a really great offer to teach English to primary school-aged children, but turned it down because of the location. The bus ride was about an hour and a half and a three hour commute was grueling each day. It was such a wonderful place though, I really love the work that they do. I've also turned down a few interviews this week because I think I found my place here. I spent a half-day at this office and felt like it was what I came here to do.

My being in Hong Kong was all about new experiences. All the other positions that I have been contemplating have been very similar to work that I do at home in Vancouver. The current office I am at however, does really neat things that still relate back to education, which is ultimately where my heart lies. I think my position right now is essentially a "writer". I produce materials for schools to use in their English language programs. It's quite neat, and completely new to me so I look forward to learning more about the behind the scenes work that goes into classrooms here. It's also going to be interesting as this is my very first long-term, full-time position. I work 9:00am to 6:00pm everyday and time really flies when you work a routine schedule. I'm sure the next few months are going to fly by.

I'm starting to know my way around the city a little bit better, but I still get lost often. I always manage to find my way home, so it's alright. I made friends with a taxi driver last night (the first time I taxi'd alone because I usually just take the tram/bus/MTR). He was the best, and basically came to get us three times last night to make sure we got to our various destinations safe and sound. Very excited about this because I know that I can always count on him to get me home now! Haha.

There have been moments when I've missed home an incredible amount. I'm actually quite surprised myself that I have yet to cry. I love living alone, it's free and comfortable and relaxing. However, I do miss going home to a packed apartment and sitting down for meals with my family. I've gotten incredibly lazy and get take-out a lot (it's actually a lot cheaper than getting groceries and cooking for one, I also don't like doing dishes). I love cooking though, so I can't wait till I get to have people here to cook for. I've been asked on numerous occasions since being here what I miss most about home. I think I've come to the conclusion that I miss being able to go for walks (especially in the evenings/ at night) and not bumping into a single person. I love going for walks without destinations with friends that can just chat, about everything and anything, and I love when you feel like you have the streets all to yourself. It's nearly impossible here to walk out and not brush shoulders with someone. I live in a relatively quiet neighbourhood already so I guess I can't complain! I also miss nights in vans, 24 hour coffee shops, being able to call and text to chat at any hour (the time difference makes it hard), the air, and conversations that make my mind turn and last until the sun rises. Alas, I know that those things are waiting for me, and I'll be back home in no time. For now, I'm going to try and embrace the time I have here and learn to love this city with the part of my heart that's not been left at home.

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